My heaven may be a little different from yours
This #letsblogoff topic is “Where’s Your Slice of Heaven?” I may be straying a bit off course, but decided to answer the question honestly. Hopefully you won’t mind!
I was having the worst time trying to decide on my favorite place. I’m a very lucky woman – I am from the great town of St. Paul, Minnesota and we also have a small home in the beautiful Rocky Mountains. I’ve been all over Italy and Greece, drank cafe au lait on the Left Bank in Paris and learned to drive a stick shift in London. Even now, I’m in a cabin on the North Shore of Lake Superior on a stunningly beautiful day.
But instead of a particular place, my mind keeps going back to 1987 when things were pretty tough for me. You see, heaven for me is not beautiful scenery or five-star luxury, although I’ve experienced those. Heaven for me, believe it or not, is a twin bed shoved under the window in my mother’s living room in St. Paul. Whenever I’m feeling angry or scared, I remember that little bed and I’m filled with an incredible sense of gratitude. It’s just as strong as I write this more than twenty years later.
At 25, I was a drug addicted, alcoholic unemployed mess crashing wherever I could. That meant some nights in my car (an old Aspen wagon no less) if I was too wasted to make it over to my mom’s place or to a squatter’s place in an old trailer park. After years of scamming I had finally been caught one too many times in my lies, and there weren’t many people who would help me anymore. But in 1987 I hit bottom when my mom finally kicked me out for good. It was clear that I was either going to go to rehab or die from my disease, probably in that old station wagon. When I chose to get sober, my mom let me stay on that little twin bed in her living room for the next year while I struggled to get my life back together. It was really hard those first few years and I’ve never forgotten how low things got for me.
Because of those experiences, I’m lucky enough to have many slices of heaven every day:
Heaven for me is lying in my own KING SIZED bed reading a good book.
Heaven for me is my kitchen when I pay my bills every month, on time.
Heaven for me is a car dealership when I realize I have a great credit score.
Heaven for me is walking my dogs when it’s 10 degrees outside, knowing that they’re well-cared for and never have to go hungry.
I’m such a lucky person – whenever I need to experience heaven, I just have to remember the way things were before 1987. And then heaven is right where I am at that very moment.
This post is part of a blog-off series with a group of bloggers asking the question “What’s Your Slice of Heaven”. Check out the other bloggers’ posts below:
DogWalkBlog
Kitchen and Residential Design
Tags: lets blog off
September 7th, 2010 at 10:28 am
Wow.
I also grew up in St. Paul just a stone’s throw off Selby-Dale and later in Frogtown in the mid ’60-’70s at the height of some pretty awful race tension. My parents were well-meaning, but misguided in thinking that they were doing the Lord’s work by having as many kids as they could. There was never any money. There were days when we went to bed hungry and when we got older, many times very scared just walking down the block or taking a bus to my after-school job.
Reading your post, I realize that heaven is as simple as being able to buy groceries without caring how much the bill is, being able to walk for miles with my dogs and not ever being being scared I’ll be jacked up for being the wrong color on the wrong block or knowing that I’ll never go to bed hungry or cold (even if the price for that is a few pounds I could afford to lose)
Thank you for sharing. I’ve spent an entire lifetime clawing my way into success without realizing I had already been there for some time.
September 7th, 2010 at 10:45 am
I think you can group people into two camps – those with a sense of gratitude and those with a sense of entitlement. I try to say in the company of those in the first camp!
September 7th, 2010 at 2:45 pm
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September 7th, 2010 at 4:35 pm
Isn’t perspective wonderful? The grace of God is magnificent and some of never acknowledge that. Listening to what you said brought up many emotions for me, thank you for sharing.
September 7th, 2010 at 4:38 pm
You’re welcome. I was a little hesitant to be quite so personal on my work blog, but you’re right. Perspective is wonderful and perhaps it gives my readers a little more insight on where I’m coming from.
September 7th, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Thank you for your story!
September 7th, 2010 at 7:09 pm
Bonnie: thank you for your humble, honest heaven. its a powerful image, sacred. I can see it. Congratulations on your personal strength and for having a strong mother. You gained enormously. perhaps its no accident that heaven and haven are such similar words. Cindy @urbanverse
September 7th, 2010 at 7:17 pm
Cindy, thanks for such a nice comment. My mother is quite a character – her own back story would make a great movie.
September 7th, 2010 at 7:50 pm
Found you through the #letsblogoff tweets and so happy I did since I found your inspiring story! I may not have had some of your experiences but it solidifies just how lucky I am (and we all are) for many of the things we might take for granted. Thank you!
September 8th, 2010 at 6:28 am
Bonnie, loved your post and the honesty with which you wrote. I believe you truly brought the slice of heaven home. It is in the blessings we have right now and the things that we are able to do. It all comes down to that in the end. Sometimes you have to travel pretty dark roads to become the person you need to be – the person you’ve obviously become.
Thanks again!
September 8th, 2010 at 7:46 pm
Oliver, I have to say that there’s really not much I worry about now, as long as I keep myself on the straight and narrow. That’s a giant blessing in itself.
September 10th, 2010 at 7:39 am
That is really quite an inspiring piece. I’ve also been lucky enough to receive the support of others when I really needed it but perhaps didn’t deserve it. Heaven is now being in the bosom of my family and being there for my niece and nephew
September 13th, 2010 at 9:08 pm
Great blog post, inspiring and makes me want to go do something.
September 16th, 2010 at 5:10 pm
Thnks for your story, this is a great post.
November 4th, 2010 at 1:21 am
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October 20th, 2011 at 3:34 am
This post shows how each one of us views things differently, it really feels good to feel peace, to live each day in a positive way. When we read about historical events there was so much unrest and hardships but now, though hardships are not lesser modernization and broadmindedness of the people has brought better changes.